MIXED SIGNALS. Why do we do it???

To all the Todds out there,
Why can’t you be up front with your intentions? Why can’t you just let all the Sallys know how you feel? Are you dense? Gay? You’re gay aren’t you? Damn. I knew it. Meanwhile, all the Sallys are at home screaming into the ear of their besties asking them to analyze your every little move and word. Please Todd, please help Sally out! Are you not aware that your inability to man-up on what you want out of the relationship with Sally is effecting not only her, but all of her friends who have to listen to her whine/complain and try to figure out what the heck you are doing? Are you doing it on purpose, or can you really just not make up your mind? Stop the insanity Todd!

To all the Sallys- listen up!
You probably aren’t much better, so you can wipe the angelic looks off your face . Don’t play your little coy games with Todd. It’s not fair. If from some God sent luck, Todd decides to man up- you need to do the same. It is a two way street people! Stop with all the confusing “vibe-reading” games, and just be honest.

Ponder this if you will- trying to “read” the other person never really works out the way you want it to. (You know you are shaking your head in agreement right now.) Is she leaning towards me? Did he mean to touch my arm? (No woman, he just walked behind you and accidentally ran into you. Geez.) Is he going to kiss me? Blah blah blah. You wanna know why girls go to the bathroom in groups? Its because of guys like you, Todd. Please be honest with your intentions so Sally and all the other girls in the world can stop analyzing every move you make.